Infiniti

Alone

Short Story

(AREAZE JIUARE, August 2021)

 Alone

(AREAZ

Day One

The old man sat on the edge of the cliff, gazing into the vast expanse that flaunted its beauty like a blossoming teenage girl on an evening stroll, dressed in a designer T-shirt and lively shorts. He mumbled incoherent words, scratching the sunburn on his bare shoulder. The wind caressed his long, disheveled, gray hair, glided over the wrinkles, and dried the sweat, leaving white streaks on his torn, dirty shirt. His beard wriggled and tickled him. He raised his hand and shook it as if he expected a mischievous child to fall out of it and giggle loudly. Down there, within his arm's reach, a large plate of soup shimmered. The sea. This time, it undulated calmly, almost coquettishly, rubbing against his leg like a kitten, hoping to get some affection. He touched the rocky peaks above the glassy, blue surface with his gaze. A giant stone rhinoceros lay in the pool, covered with greenish lichen at the bottom. It seemed that the mountain would jump up, shake itself, and run somewhere in search of its herd or food. He had not brought any food; his stomach had been reminding him of that for a while. A cloud leaned against one of the mountain peaks, waiting for passengers to board before continuing its journey. It had been several days since he started climbing to this peak, several hellish days. But it was worth it. Every painful scratch on his hands, covered with a red sticky scab, every bruise, every blister. It was worth this pleasure. He breathed slowly, deeply. He inhaled the divine scents of the mountain air, completely enchanted by them. Just like twenty-four years ago. They were young then. Very young. They were looking forward to the climb, knowing that a thrill of pleasure, a touch of paradise awaited them up there, that they would float with the angels, at least for those few hours.

But they could not know all the dark secrets that day kept from them.

He often returns there. In fact, he lives in some hour of that day every day, sorting through the moments. He tries to remember some detail, some hint, whispers, hidden messages... He would recall their glances, unconscious movements, something that would suggest the events that followed. There was nothing - it just happened. Destiny. Or maybe it faded from his memory over time.

Seven of them went together. Three couples and him. They had been friends since their first year of college, and Anna was part of that group. They broke up a month before the climb. They had planned the trip together, but only he went. Although they tried not to, he felt like he was going to hold the candle for the rest of them. They knew every detail of his shipwreck and genuinely wanted to cheer him up, which didn't make things better. That's why he sneaked out of the temporary camp that morning, before dawn, while the others were still asleep. He didn't wake them up, as agreed. He wanted to be the first to arrive at the top and spend at least an hour alone. Alone with the mountains, the sea below, alone under the sky, alone in that beautiful corner of the universe before the lovebirds show up, taking pictures hugging in various poses, chatting, laughing. He would wait for them; he had no intention of leaving them behind, just wanted to give himself time. After that hour spent alone in paradise, he wouldn't have to pretend to be happy with them, and his smiles in the photos would be genuine. He knew everything would end up on Instagram, and he didn't want to look pathetic.He had wondered a thousand times if he could have saved them. If he had woken them up then and hurried them to follow him. Was it selfishness that saved him? Was it even selfishness? Or fate. He accepted the latter option, not to justify himself, it didn't matter anymore. He accepted it because it was so. It couldn't be different. He had developed a thousand movies in his head. What if he had saved them? Everything would be different. Absolutely everything.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long blade of grass. He put it in his mouth and started chewing. It was juicy. And bitter. His stomach began to bother him. He knew it would be like that, which is why he picked the grass to deceive it for at least some time. Until he comes for him.

He closed his eyes and let the wind caress him. Darkness, and a large rhinoceros in front of him. Only the top of its head and horn are visible, then they disappear into the murky swamp. He sank into the search for something in the mud. Just like now, he waited for it to come for him. The ground beneath his butt was shaking and cracking. A strong gust of wind threw him against the rock behind him. But it didn't come. Not for him. He opened his eyes and watched as the world changed. The rocks were cracking deep beneath him.

He fell asleep

Day Two

He opened his eyes and let the blue of the sky sink back into them. The pain in his stomach couldn't diminish the pleasure of the purity of this place. He gently petted the rock he was sitting on. He caressed the mountain as if petting a grateful dog. He unconsciously slipped back into his day. After all, he descended to the campsite hoping they were lucky. He was making his way through the wilderness, orienting himself towards the mountaintops. Despite all his efforts, he couldn't recognize the place where they had camped the day before. His feet sank into the sand, which slowly dried on unfamiliar terrain. He saw a fish splashing in a disappearing puddle. At least food won't be a problem. He grabbed it and put it in his backpack.

The scene before him was the same, but the feeling of excitement began to dull. The sun etched into his skin like a sharp rope, leaving wounds and pain. Now his stomach had someone to compete with. He reached into his pocket and pulled out another blade of grass. He nibbled patiently, like an idle cow.

If he woke them up, what would be different? His presence would still be superfluous. Even if he could choose - out of the three of them, only Eve was an option. She wasn't as beautiful as she hid a personality sculpted by the hands of a top-notch sculptor beneath her skin. Subtle movements, sharp remarks spoken in a gentle, feminine voice, her playful eyes illuminated the space with a warmth that soaked his soul.

He imagined it. With Eve. Sometimes for days. Sometimes Ron would just disappear, and he would be there. It would start accidentally, with a comforting touch. And then it would end happily, in a cottage by the lake filled with children's laughter. And endless touches of her tender skin.

And sometimes he would imagine a fight. They would split up angry, each on their own. In those days, he hated the whole world.

Sometimes Anna would appear. She would come to the campsite for him, and they would all be saved. She would realize her mistake, and he would forgive her. Or forgive himself. Sometimes he felt guilty about his dreams. Needless. There was no Eve. Nor Anna. Nor anyone else. Nobody.

Thoughts sluggishly withdrew under the noonday sun. The pain now spread throughout his body. Pain is good, he thought. I love pain. I deserve it.

He fell asleep.

Day Three

He was awakened by his heavy breathing. His tongue was dry and swollen as if a dying snail was squirming between his teeth. He tried to produce some saliva to moisten his mouth and grab some air. He succeeded. He looked around. Rhino, sea, sun, wind. Everything was there. It was always there. As if it would always be there. And it was and would be, except for that one day. Except for that Saturday, twenty-four years ago. While he sat and spent his bonus hour breathing deeply, a star flew out of the sun and, with a loud bang, plunged into the sea. It all happened in a few moments. He didn't even have time to get scared. He watched the scene from the top of the world like a show the mountain had prepared just for him. It seemed like the meteor fell far away, maybe hundreds of kilometers away from him. Even if something bad happened, he was convinced he was safe, and he would listen to the incredible event on all the news on TV the next day. In the distance, through the thick mist, he saw a huge wave rise at the point of impact, like a stone was thrown into a pond.

Ten minutes later, the world changed. The sea beneath him began to boil, then recede. He had the impression that it was enough to stretch out his hands and stop it, but the water leaked through his fingers, like life. It fled, leaving a bare bay, revealing parts of the mountain that were otherwise hidden beneath the surface of the water. A moment later, the sea returned and then continued to rise until it completely submerged the mountains below it. It raged all around, as if, offended by the unfair blow, it had decided to knock down everything in its path. He looked up, a fiery tongue of lava erupted high above the point of impact of the meteor, then collapsed back, pushing a new wave towards him.

He waited for it to come for him. He had given up all hope, the sea was rising unstoppably up the mountain, greedily swallowing forests like bundles of salted sticks. He closed his eyes and waited for the unavoidable. He didn't think about the camp or Anna. He just waited.

Day Four

He tried to open his eyes but was unsuccessful as his eyelids were completely stuck together. He could only see the daylight through the cracks. He knew the sea was below and that the rhinoceros was still relaxing in it. He knew the sea was calm and would remain calm. The pain was unbearable. His eyes burned, his skin turned into a charred carpet, and he couldn't feel his stomach from the hot knives that were slowly cutting through his flesh. He smiled contentedly. He deserved it. He could have woken them up, but he didn't. He escaped like a whore and left them at the mercy of the raging sun. They were crushed by the rocks and the shattered trees carried by the first wave. They suffered terribly. He could have saved them.

It didn't take him that day. It didn't come for him. It stopped a few hundred meters below. He felt the rock cracking somewhere deep beneath his feet. He thought it would collapse onto the raging beast that aimed to devour the world. The chewing was over, and now it was swallowing the remains. Hours passed, and the water first stopped, then slowly began to recede. In a matter of seconds, it turned into an endless pack of enraged cats. They hissed, scratched, and dragged their prey along with them. Their mice, lizards, humans, and the ruins of cities. Then the sea returned, engulfing mountains, a little lower than the first time. In the following days, the sea came and went, each time lower than in the previous onslaught.

Until it completely quieted down.

He sunk into darkness.

Day Five

He panted short and hard. Hot sticky liquid leaked out of him and all over him. He reeked of a carcass.

Anna looked at him angrily. The room smelled of her shampoo and hair conditioner. She stood in front of him like an executioner with an axe in her hand. There was no more trial, rebuttal, or closing arguments. It was over, and only that final blow was awaited.

"You think I'm stupid, that I don't see that we're going hiking just so you can be closer to her?"

"Anny, you're imagining things. You're just fantasizing," he spoke with an uncertain voice as he wiped his freshly-shaven face with a towel.

"And the phone, am I imagining that too?"

She raised the treacherous device instead of the axe. He knew there was no point in saying anything more. No, he didn't think she was stupid. He could only voluntarily lower his head onto the stump.

"Anna..."

The sound of the door slamming against the frame and the hollow, metallic click of the lock echoed in the room long after she had left. He dragged himself to the mirror and grabbed the bottle of lotion. It's not the end of the world, he thought. Eve had been teasing him with messages, nothing had really happened. She liked to stir things up, it's questionable whether she would have gone further if he had tried anything. Subconsciously, he hoped she would, and that it could happen during the camping trip, at some moment.

Instead, she was completely cold to him the entire climb. As if nothing had happened. He was angry with himself as they hiked up the mountain. He fell for the female game like a donkey. If it weren't for that stupid flirt, Anna would be here now. He had to separate from them, at least for an hour. That's when he came up with a plan.

If Anna had been with them, maybe he could have saved them all from the flood. The eight of them would have had some life. He messed up. Completely.

He wandered the world for twenty-four years. Searching. Not for Anna. Not for Eve. They had been dead for a long time, he knew that. He was looking for anyone. Without success. This time, the wrath of the gods rained down on the earth more fiercely than ever before. He found a few useful things, shipwrecks and remains of corpses on the edges of mountains. Cities had disappeared. They weren't there, probably remaining somewhere deep under rocks, mud, and sand. He had gotten used to living like a hermit. Every day was Saturday.

"I hear you!" he creaked. Or he thought he creaked.

Death climbed the cliff like a mountain goat. It danced from one bulge to another, pirouetting, joyfully, like a little girl in a pink dress. The old man was pleased. He had waited a long time for someone to hug him.

He traveled three continents in his search, climbing mountains hoping to find someone like him, but luck abandoned him the moment Anna slammed the phone on the table. The protective glass shattered, and he didn't have a spare. He was angry, not knowing that he wouldn't need his phone anymore.

It was his fault. It had to be, and everything happened because of him. Did the universe shake people off Earth, like fleas from a dog, just like that? Would it work so hard to build civilization, just to then, with one solar sneeze, like an angry child, destroy everything in half an hour? No, it was his fault. His fault and the damn messages he exchanged with Eve! It couldn't be different. Only that made sense.

He faded into the mist.

Day Six

He opened his eyes. Surprisingly, he was able to do it. The pain disappeared. And the soup. And the rhinoceros.  Eve's smile floated in front of him.

"He's awake!" She turned to the others. On a short, light blue denim shorts, two pockets with sewn-on pink flowers danced before his eyes.

"You must have had a really bad dream," Ron quipped. " You've been struggling there for hours like a fish on dry land."

All six of them spread out. Anna passed through the line and approached him. She still smelled of shampoo and hair conditioner. She ran her hand over his soft, freshly shaved beard. "I'm sorry, it was stupid. Eve told me everything."

He smiled. He reached out his hand, she pulled him up gently. She hugged him and the clouds around them disappeared. They rose together towards the light, while the mountain air caressed their hair. The big rhinoceros bounced and plunged vigorously into the blue below them.

The chamois lifted her gaze from the contorted body of the old man on the rock. His bulging eyes swallowed the noon sun, while his death smile revealed sparse, blackened teeth. His gray, withered hair and beard fluttered in the mountain wind. The chamois pulled out a straw of grass that was sticking out of his pocket and chewed it in a few bites. She jumped happily and moved on. She still had work to do these days. The sea was winking at her from below. The smell of salt burned her nostrils.

She licked her lips.

© Copyright AreazeJiuare